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Marie Kondo will always be the decluttering goddess to me. She encourages clients to: hold an item in their hands and ask, “Does this spark joy?”  If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, thank it for its service and let it go. Well, I have a list of things in my home that don’t just fail  the joy test—they actively enrage me. And yet… they remain. Some out of necessity, some because of guilt, and some because, apparently, I enjoy suffering. Welcome to my Anti-Marie Kondo List —a tribute to the items that bring not joy, but rage-fueled muttering under my breath. The “Smart” Devices that are Anything but . I bought a smart speaker so I could feel like I was living in the future. Instead, I live in frustration. " Play 90s R& B " to which it responds " Playing Pop music.... " Ugggghhhh. Half the time, it doesn’t hear me. The other half, it misinterprets my requests and blasts music at full volume when all I wanted was some soothing music to keep my day going. If I so much as think  about asking it something, it activates at the worst possible moment. Does it randomly start playing bedtime sound at 8 p.m every night? Yes. I am still trying to figure out how to turn this routine off. Almost useless at this point. The Food Container Cabinet of Chaos . My food container cabinet gets organized, but it takes approximately 4.7 seconds for everything to be completely disorganized. If I lived alone, it would be immaculate, but I have my partner and two broke best friends—my daughters. Does it spark deep existential dread every time I open it? Absolutely. Absolutely yes. The drawer of mystery cords . At this point, I’m convinced that at least half the cords in my house belong to devices I haven’t owned in years. Phone chargers for phones that no longer exist. Random HDMI cables for… something? A collection of mystery adapters that I might  need one day but probably never will. None of it sparks joy, at all. But do I throw them out? Of course not. What if I suddenly need a charger for my 2012 digital camera? The Throw Blanket Situation . I love a good throw blanket. Something cozy for each family member on those cold nights. Instead, they have become an elaborate obstacle course or my living room floor that must be managed  every single day. They also have a habit of disappearing or getting lost in my kids' bedrooms, but can never be in the assigned storage basket that sits next to the sofa. They've now become picnic blankets for the girls for the times when they decide that they don't want to eat at the table. I mean, they save the floor from crumbs, but now have to be washed more than I would like to. Do they make my couch look aesthetically pleasing? Yes, which is why they remain. The Utensil Drawer Full of Betrayal . My nitpicking side comes on full display with this drawer. I mean who puts the bowl part of a spoon or the tines of a fork facing the drawer opening rather than away? Someone has to really hate the people they live with to commit such an act of betrayal. Does it spark joy? No. Does it make me question my life choices every time I need a fork? Yes. The only direction cutlery should face The winter coat pile-up on the closet handle . Every winter, I tell myself I'll get better at making sure that the kids follow their routine of hanging their coats without me having to be militant about it. Every winter, we start off well and then fail. Instead of neatly hanging in the closet where they technically  belong, coats sometimes end up hanging on the entryway closet or occasionally in a chaotic mound inside the closet. Apparently, getting a hanger for them is too much effort. At this point, as long as there is only one coat per knob, I am typically fine. If it increases to more than that it sparks a mild rage when I walk past it. The end result is rage cleaning from the deep-seated frustration. The Shower Curtain That Tries to Kill Me . There is something deeply unsettling about a shower curtain that insists on clinging to you while you’re showering. No matter how I position it, no matter what I do, it will find me. And in that moment, nothing sparks more rage than fighting off a damp, plastic ghost while just trying to get clean. Does it make me irrationally mad every time it happens? You bet. I know, I could  get rid of some of these things. I could  organize things better, maybe. But let’s be real—I share my home with three other humans and I am not about to torment us all in the name of having an aesthetically pleasing home at all times. Our home is meant to be lived in and not a show house, so these infuriating items are part of the fabric of my home. Maybe, just maybe, the rage they spark is a weird kind of joy in itself. Or maybe I just need to arrange additional appointments with my therapist. What’s in your home that sparks rage instead of joy? Let me know in the comments so we can suffer together.

Growing up, my skin was at the forefront of my mind. I was the child who had a severe skin reaction that left me with post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation (PIH) . The quickest way for anyone to tear down my spirit and self-esteem for just about anything was to comment on the dark spots on my skin. It became a common thing, to the point where a teacher and family member of mine would point it out as a way to get me back in line for any small indiscretions on my part. I had a fairly good childhood, but the memories of adults and children commenting on something I had no control over left me with deep emotional wounds. It took years and almost well into my late twenties to heal. I was jealous of everyone who had great skin . I always wondered in my younger years, " Why do I have to deal with this? " Of course, that did absolutely nothing. I became fixated on trying to not have my skin noticed, but also very early on tried to not make it a big issue. I mean, what choice did I have?! I lived on a hot tropical island till my late teens, so there was no option to cover up completely. I saw every dark spot, every look, and had to politely answer every question to quickly shut down every conversation. My skin didn't stop me from wearing a swimsuit and enjoying the beach as much as my friends, but it surely made me hyperaware of others' judgments, and to avoid that, I dressed to cover my legs as much as possible. As I got older and moved away from my home country to the US, I must say I was happy to have a fresh start. Living in the northeast with three-quarters of the year spent in clothing that covers most of the body, I was happy. I no longer felt the anxiety that I once had, because there was nothing to see. This allowed me to find treatments for my skin to reduce the hyperpigmentation. It was a time of trial and error and even body makeup to feel better about wearing that knee-length dress. I had never worn short shorts in my life and it took till my mid-twenties to try on and wear out in public my first pair of shorts. They say your brain doesn't fully mature till about twenty-five. Well, that was right around the time that I came to the conclusion that I did not have to live in perpetual anxiety or in fear of the judgment of others. As much as I enjoy a more conservative style, I was ready to let go and feel free to wear what I liked in spite of the length. By that time my skin had gotten significantly better, and if it required a small brush of body powder, so be it. I just knew that I was no longer willing to be restricted by something that once caused me so much grief. One outfit at a time , I slowly began to build my confidence in my appearance. My self-esteem is not completely tied to my appearance, but it is a contributing factor. We all care about how we look and to say the opposite is a clear untruth. I just had to realize that it was okay to make modifications to better ourselves for our own acceptance. I am happy to have arrived at that place in my mid-twenties, because I know how a negative self-image can damage one's spirit. As a mother of two little girls, I do everything I can to build their confidence and teach them that the best love is radical self-love. If not for me, at least for them. What self-esteem issues did you or do you struggle with or have overcome?

I will never get tired of the online responses to the question, “What level of adulting have you reached?” They’re funny, wildly accurate, and sometimes hit a little too close to home. Some days I genuinely feel like I’ve arrived at peak responsible human mode—bills paid, dinner cooked, emotional stability intact. On other days, I wonder how I managed to rub my two remaining brain cells together long enough to survive. And still, here I am: responsible for two little ones who think their mom is the biggest clown in the world—and love me even more for it. There was a time I believed adulthood would simply happen , as if it were a magical level unlocked just by piling on the years. But with time (and a healthy dose of reality), I realized this is not how any of it works. A seventeen-year-and-364-day-old doesn’t transform into a full-blown adult the moment the clock strikes midnight on their eighteenth birthday. And yet, it’s surprising how often that exact expectation is projected onto young people. “You’re 18 now, you should know better.” Should they? Really? Adulthood is not a line you cross. It’s an ongoing, full-time, no-days-off apprenticeship. It’s a skillset built by doing life, sometimes well, often messily. The learning doesn’t truly begin until you’re out in the world without the built-in safety net of school, family, and routines that guide you. And even then, it’s a lot of trial and error. So where do you stand in the hierarchy of grown-up life? Let’s take a look at the unofficial (but emotionally accurate) stages of adulting. Level 1: Barely Functioning, But Trying . This is where many of us start, and let’s be honest, sometimes return to. It’s the “Wait... I have to cook? Every. Day?”  phase. You forget to defrost the chicken, cereal is dinner (again), and the thought of opening that mail pile by the door feels like a Herculean task. You’re holding on by the grace of your phone calendar and sheer willpower. Laundry only gets done when you’ve completely run out of socks, and budgeting? That’s just hoping your card doesn’t decline. Taxes and health insurance paperwork get stuffed in a drawer, only to be rediscovered in a future archaeological dig of your own home. For those of us with kids : This level hits differently. You spend 45 minutes making a healthy dinner just for your child to look at it like you’ve served them poison. You’re tired before you even open your eyes in the morning. Most days, you're just trying to keep the household running without completely unraveling. If Little Timmy has to make friends with the stuffed animals because Mom is on the brink—so be it. Level 2: Basic Survival Mode . At this stage, you’ve figured out the bare bones of functioning. You pay your bills—maybe even on time! You’ve graduated from cereal for dinner to a rotation of three go-to meals. Cleaning happens inconsistently, but it happens. You buy toilet paper before  you run out, and maybe—just maybe—you even separate your laundry sometimes. Burnout is a real part of this level. Adulting doesn’t pause just because you're exhausted. Some days, putting on pants and showing up is the win. And that deserves celebration. Parents in this zone : You are constantly on the verge of being overwhelmed. A quiet moment for yourself is like spotting a rare bird—fleeting and unbelievable. But no matter how depleted you feel, your kids still need water, snacks, and endless attention. You can't break down because someone always needs something from you. So you push forward, even if you’re running on fumes. Level 3: Functional Adult With Glimpses of Maturity . This level feels like finding a rhythm, even if you're still missing the beat occasionally. You begin choosing to go to bed at a reasonable hour, not because someone told you to, but because you feel  the difference the next morning. You know that hydration helps and keeps water within reach. There’s a loose budget in place, and while you may stray from it now and then, you understand the importance of keeping one. Meal planning, once an overwhelming task, now feels doable, even enjoyable on a good week. You know where important documents are (or at least where to start looking), and you’re no longer startled by adult things like tax forms and appointment reminders. And when you’re a parent at this level : You’ve figured out a few parenting tricks—like how to throw together a lunchbox in under five minutes or how to keep the kids entertained during errands. You may not have it all together, but you have a routine that mostly works, and you’ve learned to forgive yourself on the days it doesn’t. You recognize when you're nearing burnout and have started building little systems to keep it at bay, whether it’s a chore chart for the kids or a 10-minute breather while hiding in the bathroom. Level 4: Full-Blown Responsible Human . This is the point where adulting begins to feel less like treading water and more like swimming laps—maybe not perfectly, but with some grace. You have a real savings account and you contribute to it. You floss regularly (even if only because you’re tired of the dentist guilt-tripping you). You know how to manage a schedule, negotiate bills, and make your own doctor appointments. Surprises like a flat tire or an unexpected bill are met with mild annoyance rather than a full mental breakdown. You’ve accepted that this is your life now—and you’re doing your best to make it a good one. Parenting from this place : It is still hard, but it comes with a clearer sense of confidence. You plan meals that (sometimes) your kids actually eat. You’ve learned how to co-manage your own needs with those of your children, even if it's not perfectly balanced. The calendar is full of school events and sports practices, and somehow, you remember most of them. You’ve gotten good at multitasking, prioritizing, and adjusting when things don’t go according to plan, which, let’s be honest, is most of the time. Level 5: Ultimate Adult Mastery (AKA Mythical Unicorn Status) . This level is rarely seen in the wild—and even when it is, those who’ve reached it tend to remind the rest of us that it’s not all that glamorous. You make dentist appointments before  you need them. You know your credit score and understand your insurance policies. You file your taxes early, and you do it with a spreadsheet and color-coded folder system. Meal planning has become your domain of creative expression, and grocery shopping feels less like a chore and more like a curated experience. You’ve stopped reacting in crisis—started anticipating and handling life with a calm, strategic approach. And as a parent in this magical land : You’ve reached the “systems” stage of parenting. You’ve probably got a command center in your kitchen, or at the very least a working routine for school drop-offs, meal prep, and weekend plans. You’ve figured out how to maintain boundaries, enforce screen time rules without constant power struggles, and carve out space for yourself without guilt. You parent with intention, not just a reaction, and your kids are learning from your example even if they still leave their socks everywhere. But Here’s the Secret… Even if you hit Level 5, you’ll still have Level 1 days. You’ll forget to reply to emails. You’ll eat popcorn for dinner. You’ll avoid your to-do list and binge-watch a show while ignoring the growing pile of laundry. That’s life. Adulting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about showing up, day after day, in whatever way you can manage. You don’t have to reach Level 5 to be doing okay. You just have to keep going. So… what level are you  at today? And more importantly, where would you like to be? Let’s talk about it in the comments. No judgment here, just a bunch of us figuring it out, one level at a time. (Photo by Anthony Fomin/Unsplash)

My wedding day was a rainy December morning. For me, rain has always been a symbol of blessings and favor, and it made the day we chose each other even more meaningful. In honor of that moment, we later named one of our daughters Raine . With my mother and his best friend as our witnesses, we stood together, ready to say our I Do’s . I remember feeling a deep sense of hopefulness, excitement, and joy about embarking on what I thought would be a lifelong journey. Just a few days before the wedding, I found myself having a mini-meltdown in the dressing room of the Diane Von Furstenberg store in Soho. Finding my wedding dress was a story in itself that required more effort than I anticipated. We planned a city hall wedding , so it wasn't an elaborate celebration—just exactly what we wanted. But as the day approached, the excitement and nerves started crashing down all at once. After the tears in that fitting room, I found the most beautiful dress with the help of a really special store employee. It was perfect—simple, elegant, and a reflection of me. I couldn't help but think that one day, maybe one of my future daughters might want to wear or incorporate it into their own special day if they choose to get married. I was beyond happy, standing next to the person I believed I would spend the rest of my life with. The Slow Crumbling of a Marriage . The signs were already there long before we got married, but I believed that his positive traits far outweighed the negatives. I never turned a blind eye to our issues and would address them as I saw fit, but my concerns were sometimes ignored or met with resistance. He would sometimes acknowledge them, make adjustments, but then regress into old patterns. Like most marriages that end in divorce, our marriage fell apart gradually. It wasn't one catastrophic event, but rather a series of ever-increasing missteps that piled up brick by brick, until it became too high to climb. At the core of it was neglect—emotional and physical neglect that crept in both before and during our marriage. We were two imperfect humans trying to navigate life together, and at the time, my imperfect partner was worth it to me. I married a provider, but he willfully marched into workaholic territory ignoring his responsibility to me as his wife. It led to countless arguments, full of words neither of us could take back. I watched as work became his shield—a coping mechanism to avoid our problems—his own, mine, and ours as a couple. Resentment began to fester inside me like an untreated wound, slowly infecting everything around us. I felt unseen, unheard, and deeply alone in my own marriage. I couldn’t function in that space, let alone offer him or myself any grace. It was a painful, suffocating experience— one that slowly dismantled what we were trying to build , piece by fragile piece. Accepting the End . Most people get married with the intention of staying married—certainly, that was my plan. We go into marriage with the hope that our love will withstand whatever life throws at us. I wanted that for us. I wanted our relationship to work and our family to stay whole. But eventually, I had to face the truth that my marriage had reached the end of the road . Before asking for a divorce, I tried. I asked for therapy, I suggested living apart for a while to give us both some space to gain perspective. But he was staunchly opposed to every option I put on the table. Divorce was never my first choice, but it became my only choice when nothing else worked. I had to put myself first and prioritize my well-being. Absent of abuse, infidelity, or severe addiction, I always encourage anyone contemplating divorce to make every effort to salvage their relationship. Divorce is costly—financially and emotionally—and often consumes more energy than the time and effort put into building the marriage in the first place. I didn’t rush into it. I exhausted every option I could think of before I finally decided to call it quits. Choosing divorce wasn’t about giving up—it was about saving myself from a relationship that had become more harmful than healing. I had to make peace with the reality that loving someone sometimes means letting go. The Aftermath: What Divorce Brought to the Surface . There were other issues, of course, because relationships don’t crumble over one thing; they unravel because of everything. The act of getting divorced brought up so many unexpected emotions, fears, and realizations that I had never considered before. For Me Becoming a Black Single Mother. I went through a period of mourning—not just for my marriage but for the life I had envisioned for my family. I had to grapple with what it meant to be not just a single mother, but a single black mother , who shoulders these responsibilities while navigating societal perceptions. Black single motherhood comes with unique challenges that are deeply rooted in both misogyny and harmful stereotypes. No one other than a Black woman truly understands what it’s like to be villainized for being the one who stayed, who tried, and who ultimately made the painful decision to leave. That awareness terrified me. For a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to stop wearing my wedding band. I feared the judgment of being labeled “ another single Black mother .” As the daughter of a single mother myself, someone I am immensely proud of, my fear wasn’t rooted in disdain for women who had children out of wedlock. Instead, it was about the harsh, nefarious words of people who demonized Black mothers, treating them as symbols of failure rather than women navigating complex lives. I had to process these feelings and come to the realization that the thoughts of others, no matter how loud or judgmental, do not define me. My responsibility is to myself and to the children I share with my ex-husband. Living Alone for the First Time. Before my divorce, I had never lived alone. My journey began in the Caribbean, surrounded by an extended family, and when I moved to the United States, I continued living with my mother and her sister's family. Later, my mother and I moved in together, and about a year later, I moved in with my ex-husband. I had never inhabited a space where the four walls were mine and mine alone, and the thought of doing so terrified me. Despite my fears, I knew moving forward with my decision was the right thing to do. I wasn’t alone—I had my girls, who needed me to create an environment where their mother was happy and at peace. That mattered more than anything else, because I wanted to stop that feeling of wanting to run away from my own life. Eventually, I realized that simply removing what was unbearable at the time was a better solution than running away. Once I made that decision, I felt that I could breathe again. The tension that had suffocated our home slowly dissipated, and I found a sense of calm I hadn’t felt in years. Starting Therapy. Therapy became a crucial part of my growth. As soon as he moved out, I started therapy. We were in the throes of COVID-19 and I was working from home in a job that was coming to an end.  Grief and loss loomed over me—my partner, family members lost to the pandemic, and the shattering of the life I had imagined. In the beginning, I wasn’t entirely honest with my therapist—I know, who pays for help and decides to hide pertinent information from the person assigned to listen. I had convinced myself that I was managing just fine and didn't realize what I was doing. I was able to keep up the facade for a few months, because my girls needed me and my job kept me distracted. It wasn't until the job ended that reality came crashing down. I described it to my therapist as "... feeling like Superman ascending at the highest speed into the atmosphere, then suddenly feeling the effects of the loss of oxygen, and spiraling into a free fall. " I crashed so hard. Every day felt like my own personal nightmare as every suppressed emotion surfaced, demanding my attenion. It was a breaking point, but also a turning point. When I finally stopped pretending and let the pain flow, the healing began. I allowed myself to be honest about everything that had accumulated over the years, and it was only then that I started to reclaim myself . My Health Improved . The stress of my marriage had taken a physical toll on me, manifesting as frequent health flares that made waking up some days feel almost impossible. My body bore the weight of being in constant survival mode—always stuck between fight or flight. Being a single-married mother did that to me. Even though I technically had a partner, I was navigating life alone. I had been functioning like a single parent for so long that admitting it aloud wasn’t the shock I thought it would be. It took time to embrace my new reality, but once I did, I noticed my health improving slowly but significantly. The absence of constant tension brought a lightness back into my life. I slept better. I had more energy. I recognized myself again, feeling more present and capable of caring for my girls without the lingering stress that had once dominated our lives. I knew I made the right choice. The Thought of Dating Again . The idea of dating again felt daunting, almost unimaginable. I even considered not dating until my daughters were in high school, mostly out of fear. Even a year later, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the concept of opening myself up to someone new. Dating required a level of vulnerability I wasn’t ready to give. It felt like I’d have to vet any potential partner like the FBI and CIA combined, yet still find a way to let them in. That was a risk I wasn’t prepared to take with two little girls in the picture. I went on just a handful of dates before I realized that I wasn’t ready. My focus needed to stay on myself and my daughters, on rebuilding my life and finding stability before even considering inviting someone else into our world. I chose to embrace the peace that comes with being single. I learned that there is no rush, because love would find its way to me when I’m truly ready. For Us Gaining a New Perspective . A separation could have potentially been able to help resolve the issues in our marriage because the time apart gave us both a different perspective. Distance revealed things we couldn’t see when we were in the thick of it. Moving straight into a divorce shocked my system in some unexpected ways. During that time, I found myself replaying memories and reflecting on the choices we made. I couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if we had just taken a step back and given ourselves room to breathe and think separately. Sometimes, space allows you to see your partner differently—to understand their struggles from a distance, to feel empathy instead of frustration. I came to realize that our problems weren’t always about what he did or didn’t do, but rather how we both struggled to navigate life together.  In that quiet, reflective time, I started to see both of our flaws more clearly and learned to let go of some of the resentment I’d been holding onto. It wasn’t an easy process, but it was necessary for me to gain clarity and ultimately find a sense of peace . Co-Parenting Challenges and Successes . Navigating co-parenting was another hurdle, but we continued to put our children first. In the beginning, it felt almost impossible—figuring out schedules, communicating about the kids without falling into old arguments, and trying to present a united front despite our differences. I worried about how our daughters would adjust to living between two households. We eventually found our rhythm and established routines that kept the girls feeling grounded and secure, even when they struggled to adjust. There were moments when frustration crept in, but I learned to set my feelings aside when it came to co-parenting decisions. As time passed, I was so happy to see him grow as a parent, even though our partnership as spouses didn’t work out. The girls still had both of us, just in a different way. Acknowledging Our Growth . Even in the pain of divorce, we both grew. We learned and we found ways to move forward separately, still bound by the family we had created. We both had to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves and how we contributed to the breakdown of our relationship. There were moments of guilt and regret on both sides, but also moments of understanding and acceptance. In the end, it wasn’t just about letting go of each other, but letting go of the expectations we had carried throughout our marriage. Though the path was painful, we emerged from it with a deeper sense of who we are—both as individuals and as co-parents. The family we built remains intact, just in a new form, and we continue to support each other when it comes to raising our daughters. It’s not perfect, but it’s real, and we’ve made peace with that. Moving Forward With Grace . Divorce is not just an ending; it’s a beginning. It’s a chance to rebuild, to redefine love and partnership, to rediscover yourself. My story is not just about the loss of a marriage—it’s about resilience, transformation, and the unexpected blessings that come from life’s storms. After two years of being apart, we decided to give our relationship another chance, and it has been the best decision of our lives. I still look back on my wedding day as a beautiful moment. It was a day of love, of hope, of promises made with the best intentions. And while my marriage didn’t last, I carry forward the lessons, the growth, and the understanding that sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the freedom to start anew. (Photos by Erneil Johnny)

Your entryway sets the tone for your entire home. It’s the first impression guests have, and it’s the space where you transition from the outside world to the comfort of your own space. One of the most effective ways to enhance your entryway is through carefully chosen decor, and two popular options are mirrors and artwork. So let’s explore the merits of each to help decide which is best. Mirrors are timeless pieces of decor that offer both aesthetic appeal and practical benefits. Here are a few reasons why a mirror might be the perfect addition to your entryway: Create the Illusion of Space . Entryways are often smaller areas, and mirrors are excellent for making them appear larger and more spacious. A well-placed mirror can open up the area and create the illusion of depth. Maximize Light . Mirrors can also enhance natural light by reflecting it throughout the space. This can make your entryway feel brighter and more welcoming. Functional Style . Mirrors serve a practical purpose as well. They provide a quick spot to check your appearance before heading out the door, making them both stylish and functional. Mirrors placed at right angles to the door are considered good in feng shui for your entryway. Versatility . Mirrors come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and frames, allowing you to choose one that fits your entryway’s style perfectly. If you’re looking to infuse your entryway with personality and visual interest, artwork might be the way to go. Here’s why artwork could be the ideal choice for your entry: Express Your Style. Artwork is a fantastic way to showcase your personality and style right from the moment someone walks through your door. Whether you prefer bold and vibrant pieces or serene and calming ones, artwork allows you to express yourself. Add Color and Texture. Artwork can introduce color and texture to your entryway, making it more visually dynamic. A carefully chosen piece of art can tie together the entire space and serve as a focal point. Conversation Starter . A striking piece of artwork can be an excellent conversation starter for guests. Whether it’s a thought-provoking painting or a quirky sculpture, artwork can spark interesting discussions and leave a lasting impression. Customization . Artwork is highly customizable, allowing you to choose pieces that resonate with you and complement your home’s decor. Making Your Decision. Ultimately, whether you choose a mirror or artwork for your entryway depends on your personal preferences, the size and layout of your space, and the overall aesthetic you’re aiming for. Some homeowners even opt for a combination of both, using a mirror to maximize light and space and artwork to add personality and flair. When selecting either a mirror or artwork, consider the scale of your entryway, the existing decor in your home, and how you want the space to feel. Whether you go for the reflective charm of a mirror or the artistic allure of artwork, investing in your entryway decor is sure to make a lasting impact on both you and your guests. (Photo: Allisa Jacob’s , Blain Moats from Better Homes and Gardens)

There’s something magical about how the simplest things in life can bring people together. A slice of pizza, a shared passion for art and literature, children, and the warmth of a growing friendship. A few months ago, my girls and I met up with my new acquaintance and her middle school-aged daughter at a local family-owned pizza shop near one of our favorite parks in our neighborhood. We got to indulge in some good pizza and conversation. The girls and I came prepared with our art supplies in tow because, after all, we are serious painters at home. The kids gravitated to each other with such ease and chatted about school and the difficulties of navigating friendships in the way only children can. Meanwhile, the adults navigated the same subject with a little more humor and pessimism. While I sat at that table, I asked myself, " At what point do adults lose their ability to form new friendships as easily as children do? " There’s a bittersweet magic to childhood friendships—the way they form effortlessly over shared art, a love for the same cartoon, or simply sitting next to each other at lunch. Somewhere along the way, though, this natural ease fades. Making new friends as an adult isn’t impossible, but it feels less like a spontaneous spark and more like an awkward slow burn. But at what point does this shift happen? When do we go from forming friendships as easily as breathing to realizing that, suddenly, making new connections requires deliberate effort? By the time we reach our 30s and beyond, friendships require much more intention. The Friendship Curve: A Gradual Shift. Friendship researchers (yes, that’s a real thing!) suggest that our ability to make friends doesn’t disappear entirely—it simply evolves with life circumstances. In our late teens and early 20s, we experience a friendship era  where college, first jobs, roommates, and frequent social events create an environment where friendships form naturally, largely due to constant proximity. By our mid-to-late 20s, however, a slow decline begins as people move for jobs, relationships become more serious, and social circles tighten. The idea of “going out just to meet new people” sounds appealing in theory but often loses to the comfort of Netflix and pajamas. By the time we reach our 30s and beyond, friendships require much more intention. With careers, families, and endless responsibilities in the mix, the effortless connections of youth are replaced by meticulously scheduled meetups, where making plans often means finding a rare free weekend six weeks in advance. Deep friendships require openness, but adults tend to build walls. Why does Making Friends get Harder? As children, friendships form naturally through forced proximity—school, sports teams, and neighborhood playdates provide endless opportunities to bond, but as adults, however, there’s no built-in playground for making new connections. Our workplaces can be hit or miss for friendships, and hobbies require time that many don’t have. Even when the opportunity arises, the “effort vs. energy” dilemma comes into play—forming a friendship as an adult often feels like dating without the romance. It requires putting ourselves out there, finding common ground, and nurturing the relationship, but after long days of work, parenting, or managing a household, so many of us simply don’t have the energy to start fresh. Over time, our priorities shift, and friendships that were once central to our lives gradually take a backseat to careers, family, and personal responsibilities. Many of us also experience the social circle lock-in, where we feel our friendship slots are already filled, or at least, our emotional bandwidth is stretched too thin to maintain new connections. Instead of expanding our circles, we focus on maintaining the friendships we already have. Vulnerability becomes even harder—deep friendships require openness, but many adults tend to build walls. There's such irony in the fact that while we tend to gain more confidence in ourselves as we age, we can become more socially self-conscious, causing fear of rejection, and a tendency to stick to small talk rather than sharing dreams and struggles. This makes it difficult to form the deep bonds that once came so easily. How do Adults Actually Make New Friends? Despite these challenges, making new friends as an adult is still possible—it just requires more effort and intention. Here are some ways adults successfully form friendships: One way to maintain connections is by embracing the “scheduled friendship”—spontaneous hangouts may be rare, but prioritizing friendships by planning regular meet-ups, even if it’s just a monthly coffee date, helps keep bonds strong. Another key approach is saying “yes” more often ; while declining invitations is easy, accepting them—whether it’s a coworker’s happy hour, a community event, or a group outing—creates opportunities for new connections. Since childhood friendships often formed through shared environments, adults can find their modern-day playground by joining book clubs, fitness classes, parent groups, or online communities where natural connections can develop. However, building new friendships isn’t always necessary—sometimes, reconnecting with old friends can be just as fulfilling. A simple message like “Hey, I was thinking about you—how have you been?” can reopen meaningful relationships. Most importantly, being open and vulnerable is key to forming deeper bonds. True friendships don’t thrive on small talk alone but on shared experiences, genuine curiosity, and a willingness to be authentic. Taking small risks—whether it’s sharing something personal, offering help, or simply making the effort to connect—can turn acquaintances into lasting friends. The Truth About Adult Friendships . There’s no exact age when forming new friendships becomes “hard,” but the shift is real. It happens gradually, as life fills with responsibilities and our social circles stabilize. But while it may not be effortless  anymore, friendship remains just as essential to our well-being as ever. The key isn’t to lament the loss of easy friendships—it’s to embrace the new way they form. With a little intention, a bit of bravery, and a few more scheduled coffee dates, deep and meaningful friendships are still within reach. What about you? Have you found it harder to make friends as you’ve gotten older? Let’s talk in the comments.  😊 (Photo by @loseyourself /Freepik)

Lately in our household, the topic of puberty has come up more often than I’d like to admit. My daughter, who has just turned 10, is experiencing a whirlwind of changes, both physical and emotional. As if that wasn’t enough, her younger sister, who is 8, is thoroughly fascinated by what’s going on with her big sis and especially curious about why there’s so much talk about “boobs” and “periods.” Oh, and let’s not forget that these little minds want answers… right now. It’s like I’m running a mini-informational Ask Me Anything on all things bodily functions, hormones, and personal growth. So, how are we navigating this delicate minefield of puberty? Let me tell you, it’s like trying to dance through a cloud of awkwardness while wearing a full suit of armor. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re a “no topic is off the table” household, and I absolutely take pride in being the one to answer all of their questions. Why? Because I’d rather have my girls informed by me, their well-meaning and slightly exhausted mom, than some uninformed peer or, heaven forbid, random internet searches that might lead them to less-than-reliable sources (Google, we need to talk). Plus, there’s a certain sense of satisfaction in watching my 10-year-old look at me and say, “Oh, that’s how periods work? Cool.” Let’s backtrack for a second: I’ve been preparing for this moment since before my kids could even speak. Oh yes, before they even had full sentences, I was already laying the groundwork. I didn’t pull any punches with the anatomical terms. No “tummy” for the stomach. No “down there” for the private parts. Nope. We use exactly what the human body is supposed to be called: vulva, penis, vagina, breasts. You name it, they know it. And you know what? It’s made our “body talk” way easier. Not only are we minimizing any confusion, but it also means they can identify inappropriate touch or behavior if ever necessary. Knowing the right words is empowering, not uncomfortable. Fast-forward to the present, and now puberty is in full swing. As we tackle topics like body hair (spoiler: it’s coming, kiddo, and it’s not just on your head), periods, and the ever-important “what exactly is happening with my emotions right now?” (answer: nothing makes sense), I find that keeping the discussions light, factual, and relatable helps avoid the "Oh god, I’m dying" vibe that some puberty talks have. And yes , there’s a lot of giggling. Oh, the giggling. We had one of those conversations that went from curiosity, discomfort and then to informational. My 8 year old had a question that piggybacked on me saying that a girl is capable of becoming pregnant and having a baby when she starts her period. She asked, “Mommy, when you and daddy decided to have a baby, did you have sex? What is sex?” I told her that these are both great questions. “It’s when two adults who love each other consent or agree to let each other kiss, and touch private areas like the breasts and vulva. What is most important is that they both have to agree to it.” My older daughter went, “Ewwww! Gross!” I quickly reminded her that there is nothing gross about it, but it is something that only adults should engage in when they love each other. Sex is what helps create life and bring babies into the world. I do my best to make sure to keep things from feeling awkward or overly “parental,” so I try to make the conversation less of a lecture and more of a dialogue. This way, they can ask questions as they come up, without feeling like they’ve interrupted some emotional presentation on "How To Become a Woman." It’s less about me sharing my wisdom and more about their curiosity being addressed in real time. Because honestly? They’re going to have more questions than I have answers for, and I’m trying to keep up. Now, as for how to avoid making it cringe ? Well, that's a whole other skill set. First off, I don't over-explain. I give them what they need, when they need it. No lengthy “life lessons” about the emotional rollercoaster that is puberty (unless they ask, of course). If my daughter asks, “Why do I have hair in places I didn’t have hair before?” I respond with, “Well, your body is getting ready to go through some changes, and that’s one of them.” If she wants more detail, I give it. I just try to remember that I’m not talking to my grown-up friends, I’m talking to a 10-year-old. We stay on their level, not mine. Also, the humor. Oh the humor. Puberty is awkward for everyone involved, so why not embrace it? We’ve had whole conversations where I, as a joke, throw in something ridiculous like, “And don’t forget, when you start wearing bras, it’s not just for support… it’s a secret weapon against all those people who might ask, ‘Are you cold?’” (Oh, you know the ones). Does it lighten the mood? Absolutely. Does it make my daughters feel comfortable asking follow-up questions? You bet. I also make sure to follow up often. I have a new family tradition where, every couple of weeks, I ask my 10 year old if she’s heard any new interesting things about puberty or bodies from school. This way, they know I’m always open to more questions. Sometimes, it’s just an offhand “Hey, is there anything weird you’re hearing at school that doesn’t make sense to you?” and she’ll open up. And let me tell you, the things they hear from other kids, but hey, it’s all part of the process. At the end of the day, I’m just trying to keep it real—an open, honest, and (mostly) comfortable environment where no question is too awkward or off-limits. Because I know that one day, I’ll look back at this stage and laugh… and probably cry a little bit too. Puberty is the ultimate rollercoaster. And I’m just trying to keep my arms and legs inside the ride at all times. (Feature photo from © fizkes - stock.adobe.com and

Food is the great equalizer. We all have to eat and I believe if you love to eat, you should at least learn to make a few good dishes well. The pans are always clanking in my home, so here are five meals I made recently that I thoroughly enjoyed. Fried ripe plantains and sautéed vegetables . Fried plantains, a staple in the Caribbean is one of my favorite foods. The natural and sweetness and creaminess of plantains make them perfect for frying if you’re looking for a gluten free option. I am a savory breakfast person all the way, so I made this delicious plate of kale that I got from the community garden, mushroom and tomatoes, sautéed with diced pepperoni for flavor. Oh, it was so good. Lettuce Wrap . Can you ever go wrong with a lettuce wrap? If you are looking for a no fuss dinner that lets you use that lettuce in your refrigerator before it rots, this is a great meal. I used ground beef and some diced red pepper sautéed with coconut amino, a dash of salt and some chili pepper flakes for some heat and layered it on top of some jasmine rice. Brown stew chicken, rice and plantains . Now this right here is a more complex dish that may need a recipe later, but here is what you’re looking at. A brown stew chicken with lentils, with rice, fried plantains, and salad. The brown stew is something I grew up on as a child in St.Lucia and I love it. Crêpes and sausages . If you’re looking for a savory and sweet dish that loads on the mirepoix, go with this sausage and crêpes breakfast. Sourdough toast and eggs . Breakfast will always reign supreme for me, so making a spread of an egg sunny side up, toasted sourdough topped with avocado and zhoug sauce, with lettuce and strawberries is heaven for me on a busy morning. Share some of the best things you’ve made lately.

This is hands down one of the best chicken dishes I have made, but if you're looking for an extensive recipe, I am probably not your girl. I am a free spirit in the kitchen when it comes to cooking. I have no rules and it is simply, whatever is in my fridge must work. Ask my partner. Some of my best dishes have been when I had to improvise. But first, let's all bow down to the cast iron pans that have and will always stand the test of time going from stove top to oven. It is the investment that is worth it, so get yourself a good cast iron even if you have to wait till it's on sale. God knows I love a sale. Cast Iron Chicken Legs You’ll need: Chicken Legs (2-3 pounds) Parsnip (optional) 1 chicken cube/Better than Bouillon Turmeric (about 1/2 tsp will do) Old Bay seasonings Tony's Creole Seasoning Mirepoix: diced onions, celery, carrots Fresh garlic Oil of your choice (1 tbsp for seasoning, and another 1-2 tbsp for cooking) I start by first rinsing my meat. I know there is a lot of debate about whether you're supposed to rinse your meat or not, along with FDA recommendations. Since the FDA doesn't live in my house, I will continue to rinse that meat with vinegar and lemon juice, so as to not upset the ancestors. Their wrath and the potential for food poisoning is worse than any FDA recommendation. Imma stick beside what I said and pass along the wisdom to my daughters. So let's get started. Put your rinsed or unrinsed meat in a bowl. Add all the seasonings and 1 tbsp of oil. Leave out the parsnip for now. Rub the seasonings into that meat to make sure that every nook and cranny is covered. Then, let it marinate for at least 45 mins. In the meantime, slice your parsnip and set it aside. Preheat your oven to about 375 degrees. Coat your pan with the oil of your choice and heat at medium high. Put each chicken leg in there making sure that it isn't overcrowded. Cook until the skin is browned and there is no more pink on the exterior. Add the seasonings in the bowl to the pan and reduce to medium. After about 15 to 20 minutes add about 1 cup of water and bring to a boil. Place the sliced parsnip in the pan, spreading them apart. Transfer from the stovetop to the oven with the lid on. The goal is to get that meat tender. After about 30 minutes, uncover and increase the heat to 400 degrees. Cook till golden brown. I hope this helps. You will never get a complaint of dry chicken. That meat will be tender and falling off the bone.

Family dinners are usually planned around here, but when a request is made for fried chicken is made, I totally give in. Fried chicken, the ultimate comfort food that brings warmth and satisfaction with every crunchy bite. As much as I hate deep frying anything—terrified of oil splatters—I will throw down for some good homemade fried chicken. So when I make my delectable, star of the show fried chicken makes an appearance, my family drools every time. Let's dive into creating the most mouthwatering fried chicken with a side of noodles. Fried Chicken Recipe To embark on this flavorful journey, you'll need the following ingredients: Chicken pieces  – whether you prefer drumsticks, thighs, or wings, make sure they are fresh and skin-on for that extra crispiness. Eggs -  beaten for dipping after moisture has been removed with a first coat of flour. Flour  – the base for the crispy coating. Seasonings  – a blend of salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, and any other spices of your choice. I also throw in a Sazon  occasionally into both the marinated meat and the flour for color and flavor. Marinate : Add seasonings to the meat and let it marinate for at least 1 hour. First Coat : In a separate bowl, mix flour with your desired seasoning. Add 1/3 of the flour mix in another bowl. Remove each piece of chicken and coat lightly with the seasoned flour mixture to absorb moisture. Egg coat : Dip in beaten eggs. Second Coat  For an extra crispy crust, double-dip the chicken back into the flour. Fry : Heat oil in a deep skillet or fryer to 350°F. Carefully place the coated chicken pieces into the hot oil, ensuring not to overcrowd the pan. Fry until golden brown and cooked through, about 15-20 minutes depending on the size of the pieces. (I double fry.) Enjoy : Once the chicken reaches a crispy perfection, let it rest on a wire rack to maintain its crunchiness. Serve hot and watch it disappear within moments! Here are some pro tips to elevate your fried chicken game: Double Fry : For an ultra-crispy crust, try double-frying the chicken. Fry it once to cook the meat and again to achieve maximum crunchiness. Dipping Sauces : Pair your fried chicken with a variety of dipping sauces like honey mustard, ranch, or a spicy barbecue sauce. The contrast of flavors will take your meal to the next level. Noodles Now, that the chicken is done, let's get to this simple noodle dish. Noodles : Any noodles of your choice and cook based on instructions. I opted for glass noodles. Seasonings : Miso and chicken base . Vegetables : Your choice of vegetables. Cook pasta : Follow instructions on packaging. Chop vegetables : prepare vegetables. Sautée : heat oil and add in miso, chicken base and vegetables that need to be cooked. Add noodles and mix thoroughly. Now, it's your turn to share your fried chicken success stories. What are your secret ingredients or techniques for achieving the perfect crunch? Let's keep the conversation sizzling in the comments below! Let's fry on and savor the magic of homemade fried chicken together!